The internet is no longer fun

Technology controls my life. For better. For worse. My days begin and end with my phone. An audiobook to fall asleep. An alarm to wake up. But lemme just check my messages real quick. Nek minute, scrolls. Scrolls. Deep in scrolls… too deep. Until it takes serious effort to unplug and be a body without wires.

I do not want to rob myself of technology. I just want it to feel fun and healthy.

I want to clearly say that this is what my body wants to be doing.

I want to be at the helm of my own life.

Turn on, tune in, drop out

What would our ancestors think of our modern world?

Think of the dreamers and explorers. Our ocean voyager grandmothers. Those brave souls with visons of utopia for us. Their future is now me. How do I honour history? I turn on screens. Tune in to the algorithm and drop out of the living, animate world.

Because I am addicted to technology. Because modern technology is designed to be addictive.

My thoughts and actions are symptoms of the society that surrounds me. We are social animals that process and produce culture. We subconsciously adopt the behaviours of those around us. You scroll, I scroll. I scroll, you scroll. But what happens when my ability to meaningfully contribute (or adapt) is interrupted…

by ads. With paywalls. With reels. With messages. All with urgent demands on my time.

Our ability to sense (and speak) truth is reliant on the inner workings of our bodies. Our ancestors were organic, flesh-woven beings with big brains. But when happens when my neural chemistry is hardwired to my phone. When technology intercepts the conversation between my gut biome and brain… where then, is my truth?
Despite what I want, my body has become the internet.

You see, the feeling of truth is where neural chemistry meets the nervous system. My beliefs, addictions and friendships are inseparable from the electric signals inside my physical body. Do I want to keep scrolling? Yes, no. I don’t know. The answer to my inquiry is in my spinal fluid.

Lemme just fact check my anatomy. Be right back. But first I should check my emails.

The only way out is through

Like it or not, the internet is everywhere and it’s not going to collapse. At least not in my lifetime. Satellites orbit our planet. Giant towers run electric wires across deserts. I am writing this on a small Pacific Island (New Zealand). By all accounts I very far away from you. I am surrounded by water on all sides but I am connected to the rest of the globe.

There is no going back. My country is globally obsessed rather than locally focused. On a personal scale, there is no way to unwire neural chemistry from smart technology. The synaptic connections are there to stay. As I understand it (with my limited knowledge) our brains can’t undo pathways but they can grow new ones on top of old. New habits can become more dominant. New stories, new myths can weave us into relation with old. Where do my thoughts end and the synthetic limbs of my smart phone begin?

It feels like technology has become an extension of the body. My thoughts roam the internet. My thoughts have almost forgotten how to use the tools that once served our species. Our ancestors achieved great things with social technologies like stories like gatherings like naming our addictions and calling them back to healthy relation with community. But community is a commodity in my culture.

What if I used the technology of my ancestors to change the way I engage with modern tools?
(but who are the elders of my culture?)

Good conversations shape society. Good questions make anything feel possible. But I cannot deny that I am mongrel of the start up era. I am not immune to the ways of my culture. There are pockets around me that are desperate and looking to indigenous knowledge for answers. We are asking for help from the very cultures that our ancestors colonized. Is this the conversation that my body wants to having?

Our technologies were not created by accident. It took generations and generations to shape the world we are in now. But there are no enemies, no manifested evil. There is no one to blame. Just a series of small actions, mindful and mindless actions that slowly hijacked our brains. This reminds me, I should check my emails.

A culture of change

I have a question. When did everyone, everywhere on the internet start selling shit?

It feels like everyone is an influencer. Everyone is brand. Information is served in snippets. When did  I have to dig to find the good stuff? If only I like and subscribe. If only I sign up to a newsletter. Is this want my body wants to be doing?

I cannot unplug. Not without rearranging my work and social life. I’m on my laptop right now, still sideswiping to my emails. Are there different ways to engage with the modern world?
(I do not want to run away to the woods, I firmly believe that we must invest in relationships with our society)

Indigenous knowledge has not yet adapted to the urban environment. Cities force ceremonies to happen behind closed doors. Economics force tickets to be sold for entry. Is it even possible to integrate our technologies into a living, breathing landscape?

I can barely survive an entire evening without glancing (or gazing) at a screen. I am repeating myself. But my brain is struggling with the caloric cost to think my thoughts through. I am repeating myself, I should check my Instagram.

What have we done in the West?

I always wanted my own website, way back when the internet was fun. A little corner of the internet to call my own. But now that I have it, I barely do anything with it. Occasionally, ever so occasionally I will write some rant like this.

I am nostalgic for blogs as an expression of art. Blogs have become another form of content marketing. Another way to make money. There are many gateways between me and the internet I want. Perhaps, there a few ethereal places where genuine human to human interactions still take place. Is it possible for technology to be a fundamentally human environment?

Is it possible for artificial intelligence to become another limb of our bodies?

Maybe I am just getting old and too slow to learn new tools. There is a part of me that wants to give up technology. It is the same part of me that wants to leave social media, to move myself to the forest beyond the city. To wake up with the sun and write on paper with pen by the light of dawn. But this dream is only part of me.

The rest of me knows that I must remain in relation with my culture.

It is time to come out of the woods. It is time to translate the information of the internet into our physical communities. Integration is a deeper kind of wisdom. We need to find the wisdom and skill to communicate effectively from the other worlds. But first we need to be in this world. Every part of us. Every limb. Every app, every platform that we use, needs to be treated as part of our living, breathing body. Otherwise, technology is a tumour. Otherwise, technologies sucks our energy and leaves us paralytic. How many software as service subscriptions are you currently in relation with?

Do your technological relationships serve your life or are you dependent on them for emotional regulation?

We do not need to cut the cord or cancel services. All I am saying is we need conscious, healthy ways to relate with technology. We need to pay attention to the good and bad. To the once good but now dark user experiences, to the red flags around us. We need to practice strong boundaries. We do it in the other areas of our life, why not with technology?

The ecosystem of the internet needs to have a living role in community. It is not healthy for it to exist entirely as commerce. We need an embodied internet. Why do we like and subscribe and hope that someone, somewhere sells us the medicine we need… Turn on, tune in, drop out.

Let’s keep the conversation alive.